Giving birth changes who we are

In a prior post, I wrote about becoming my oatmeal http://dallasmidwife.com/i-am-my-oatmeal/

Yes, I believe/know that we are what we eat. I also believe and know that we are what we do. Our brains learn, know, perceive, remember and so do our whole bodies. This has a fancy name if you want it. It's called "embodied cognition". So it's not just that there is a mindbody connection. More than that, we are one mindbody.

Egg and sperm join inside Rachel's body and her body, her mind, her whole self, are changed. Rachel's baby changes her mindbody: an extra liter of blood, relaxed blood vessels, loosening joints, foggy brain, vomiting at the smell of coffee and crying about the dishes in the sink and growing tiny Thomas deep inside herself. She has embodied part of her partner, Joe and part of Rachel and part of Joe are becoming Thomas inside her. Rachel is Rachel. Rachel is Thomas. Rachel is Joe.

And Thomas who is Rachel and Joe is growing and becoming Thomas and is Rachel. And Rachel, who is Thomas and Joe (and her parents and grandparents and her oatmeal and Mexican food and cherries that her grandmother ate 70 years ago in Germany) is connecting and communicating through her blood and breath and the chemicals and hormones and the cells that they become, with Thomas, who is Rachel and they are all one person and one experience in Rachel.

And Rachel moves about the world and Thomas grows and Rachel grows and Rachel goes to yoga and breathes and stretches and Thomas feels the extra breath and the release of relaxing hormones and nestles deeply into his safe space inside Rachel; (maybe he does a little yoga stretch himself).

And when Joe and Rachel have a fight about her mother-in-law and Rachel cries and Joe is angry, her body is tense and chemicals move through Thomas and through Rachel. And then Joe and Rachel make up and they hug and they make love and they are close and intimate and Thomas is there in the closeness and the intimacy. The soup of Rachel (and Joe) is the soup that Thomas lives and grows in. He is in the experience of Rachel's life, in what she eats, in what she feels, in what she does.

And life is full of oatmeal and kale and ice cream and exciting movies and loss and anger and happiness and walking and playing video games and that's Thomas and Rachel and it's perfect because that's Thomas (who is Rachel and Joe) and Rachel and their life.

And one very long night Thomas is born and the way he does it and the way she does it and the way it happens make Joe and Rachel and Thomas and changes them forever.